


bloodswap

by bees-oldhomestuckfics (49percentchanceofbees)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2019-09-06 17:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/49percentchanceofbees/pseuds/bees-oldhomestuckfics
Summary: Bloodswap AU featuring Equius Leijon, Nepeta Zahhak, Tavros Makara, Sollux Vantas, and Karkat Captor, as well as discussion of Terezi Serket and Vriska Pyrope.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is so old. Read at your own risk and don't @ me.

CT: :33 < I don’t think this is a good idea

AC: D –> oh come on!

AC: D –> itll be fun!

CT: :33 < Playing games such as these is far below your dignity

CT: :33 < Blue bloods should only engage in contests with high stakes

CT: :33 < Contests worthy of their impurrtant time and energy

AC: D –> bleh!

AC: D –> youre no fun!

AC: D –> you never want to play games

AC: D –> whether its something like this or just a simple game of pretend

AC: D –> youre so boring

CT: :33 < Yes

CT: :33 < I understand

CT: :33 < I am a disappointing meowrail

CT: :33 < Unworthy of you

CT: :33 < However

CT: :33 < I remain pawsitive that you should not purrticipate in this game

AC: D –> you say you dont like games but you never forget that silly cat face!!!

AC: D –> or your little cat puns!!

AC: D –> you think youre so a100f

AC: D –> but i know that deep down inside you are e%tremely fond of games!!!!!!

CT: :33 < I preface my words with the noble face of my sublime lusus

AC: D –> and how would a lowb100d like you know anything about nobility??? :o

AC: D –> youve cornered yourself there!!!

CT: :33 < True

CT: :33 < I can only hope to embody the pawsitive qualities of a middling gr33n blood

CT: :33 < But you, Nepeta

CT: :33 < You can aspire much higher

CT: :33 < You are a noble blue blood

CT: :33 < You should embody dignity and grace

AC: D –> blah blah blah

AC: D –> i dont care what color my b100d is!!!!

AC: D –> it doesnt even matter!!!!!

AC: D –> its just how we were born!!!

CT: :33 < S33

CT: :33 < This is exactly why you need me

CT: :33 < On your own you would fail to consider the dignity and poise owed to your blood

CT: :33 < You would reject the role the mother grub planned for you

CT: :33 < And abandon the social order

AC: D –> ugggh

AC: D –> what do you even know about social order

AC: D –> you live in a cave!!!!!!

CT: :33 < Yes

CT: :33 < It is for the best that I avoid society

CT: :33 < I am unworthy of a purrfect hive such as yours

CT: :33 < And considering the trouble I have controlling my behavior

CT: :33 < It is best that I live far from others

CT: :33 < Where there is no chance of my rages offending any of my sanguinary superiors

AC: D –> you just want to build your robots in peace

AC: D –> i wish i had a nice quiet cave!!!!!!

AC: D –> it would be so much easier to hunt if i lived out in the wild

AC: D –> instead of on this stupid cliff!!!!!!!!

AC: D –> not to mention the neighbors!!

AC: D –> i like gc but her lusus is so huuuuge and scary

AC: D –> and back before the accident ag kept coming around to help feed it

AC: D –> its really sad to watch gc’s lusus eat poor little trolls!!!!!!

AC: D –> what did they ever do wrong!!!!

CT: :33 < They are low bloods of no consequence

CT: :33 < They should be proud to provide sustenance to the lusus of a noble blue blood

AC: D –> yeah right!!!!!

AC: D –> would you say that if ag and ca came after you and your “sublime lusus”??

CT: :33 < I

CT: :33 < It would be appurrpriate for me to submit to my betters

CT: :33 < Even if I would purrfur to survive

AC: D –> you have got to be pulling my leg

AC: D –> (my long, beautiful h00fbeast leg!!!)

AC: D –> would you really just let them kill you

AC: D –> would it be like this

AC: D –> *ag and ca find cts cave after days and days of wandering the jungle*

AC: D –> *theyre e%hausted and hungry and ct could easily take them*

AC: D –> *but because of the ST00PID HEMOSPECTRUM ct just sets out a sa100tation square and serves them leaf st00!*

AC: D –> *after they make him serve them leaf st00 and wheat slabs ag kills his beloved lusus*

AC: D –> *ct starts to get really angry*

AC: D –> *he could fight them both right now! he could destroy them!*

AC: D –> *but instead ca and ag order him to carry his dead lusus and guide them out of the jungle*

AC: D –> *and he does it!*

AC: D –> *and ag cuts his throat in front of cg’s lusus and

AC: D –> i

AC: D –> are you still there

AC: D –> please still be there

AC: D –> i think i got a bit e%treme

AC: D –> in detailing that scenario

AC: D –> its really upsetting

AC: D –> im sorry if it upset you

CT: :33 < I’m here

CT: :33 < I was

CT: :33 < D33ply affected by the situation you described

CT: :33 < I had to step away for a moment to retr33ve a towel

AC: D –> what

AC: D –> i cant believe you

AC: D –> did you really get all sweaty over the idea of some b100 b100ds MURDERING you

CT: :33 < Um

CT: :33 < I am dry now

CT: :33 < And I f33l the n33d to point out that you should not use such low and friskolous language

CT: :33 < It is unbefitting of one of your status

AC: D –> what

AC: D –> whatd i say

AC: D –> and why are you more concerned with my language than with the idea of being killed???

AC: D –> oh no i said some 100d words!!!!

AC: D –> the whole world will have to stop and stare at me!!!!!!

AC: D –> meanwhile nobody notices your poor corpse disappearing down the gullet of gc’s lusus!!

CT: :33 < Terms such as “salutation square” and “l33f stew” come from low bloods

CT: :33 < Interactions with low bloods has coarsened your vocabulary

CT: :33 < You should be more careful to maintain your dignity and purrity

CT: :33 < Say “welcome mat” and “t33”

AC: D –> purrity

AC: D –> thats awful

AC: D –> you cant tell me what to do!!!

CT: :33 < You’re right

CT: :33 < I am too lowly to give orders to a blue blood

CT: :33 < You should punish me for my insubordination

CT: :33 < You should order me to b33t myself with one of my wrenches

AC: D –> no!!!!!!

AC: D –> im not going to order you to do anything!!

AC: D –> i think its kind of sick how you always want me t00!!!!

AC: D –> why cant you just

AC: D –> NOT

AC: D –> get satisfaction

AC: D –> from the idea of some stuck up snob

AC: D –> telling you to do something you dont want to do

AC: D –> and hurting you and controlling you!!!!

CT: :33 < Is that an order

AC: D –> no!!!!!!!

AC: D –> its not fun to be ordered around!!!

AC: D –> i should know!

AC: D –> i get enough of it from you!!!!!

AC: D –> even though you always go off like this afterwards

AC: D –> talking about how youre unworthy and i should be punishing you

AC: D –> it makes me sick!!!!!

AC: D –> why dont you just do what you want

AC: D –> and let me do what i want

AC: D –> and well both be happy

CT: :33 < I am d33ply sorry to have displ33sed you

CT: :33 < The fact remains that I have an obligation to help look after you

CT: :33 < To whatever extent is possible from my lowly position

CT: :33 < And sometimes you n33d someone to k33p you from polluting your blood with base antics

CT: :33 < I would not dr33m of giving you a command

CT: :33 < But it is my respawnsibility to advise you

AC: D –> i know

AC: D –> and i appreciate it

AC: D –> even if youre st00pidly bossy sometimes

AC: D –> your advice has helped me

AC: D –> if it werent for you i might have played that game with ag and cg

AC: D –> and then … :(

AC: D –> but i wish you would 100k after yourself with half the attention you give me!!!!!

AC: D –> youre important t00!!

AC: D –> i know ac and ag and cg are all fighting now so we dont have to worry about them

AC: D –> but if you let some b100 b100d hurt you just because you dont think youre worth standing up for yourself

AC: D –> ill be really sad!!!!

CT: :33 < I

CT: :33 < I hadn’t considered the situation from that angle

CT: :33 < I

CT: :33 < I will endeavor to k33p myself safe

CT: :33 < To preserve myself as your meowrail and advisor

CT: :33 < And protect you from pain

CT: :33 < I cannot serve you if I’m dead

AC: D –> thats

AC: D –> a little better

AC: D –> i still wish you would act00ally care about yourself for your own sake

AC: D –> and not just because i tell you to

AC: D –> but

AC: D –> i guess its better than nothing

AC: D –> :3

CT: :33 < :33


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How did you write Karkat without saying 'fuck' once?" It was the OCD.

CG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

TA: oh no.

CG: II CAN’T TAKE IIT ANYMORE

TA: stop.

TA: i dont have time for this.

CG: WHAT

CG: YOU’VE GOT 2O MANY BETTER THIINGS TWO DO

CG: 2ERIIOUSLY

CG: WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WIITH YOUR LIIFE

CG: NOTHIING, THAT’2 WHAT

CG: YOU DO NOTHIING

CG: YOU’RE U2ELE22

TA: says the guy who programs like a dead insect.

CG: OH

CG: BURN

CG: II’M 2O HURT

CG: HOW WIILL II EVER RECOVER

CG: OH, THAT’2 RIIGHT

CG: II’M NOT HURT AT ALL

CG: BECAU2E YOUR BURNS ARE EVEN MORE PATHETIIC THAN YOUR 2O-CALLED HACKIING 2KIILL2

TA: bro.

TA: chill.

CG: II AM CHIILL

CG: II’M DOUBLE CHIILL

CG: II’M NOTHIING BUT CHIILL

CG: JU2T A GIIANT 2ACK OF CHIILL

CG: FROM MY BONE BULGE TWO MY WRIIGGLE NUB2

TA: ok.

TA: you know what.

TA: im just going to wait till you calm down.

TA: whenever you actually get to the point

TA: just let me know.

TA: and ill start paying attention again.

TA: maybe.

TA: if the point isnt as stupid as you are.

CG: OK

CG: II DIID HAVE A PURPO2E IIN IINIITIIATIING THIIS CONVER2ATIION

CG: BEYOND JU2T ANTAGONIIZING YOU

CG: AND HORRIIFYIING YOU WIITH MY VA2TLY 2UPERIIOR IIN2ULT2

TA: oh look

TA: it almost sounds like its time for me to pay attention.

CG: HA HA

CG: YOU’RE 2O FUNNY

CG: II’M GOIING TWO BLOW MY PROTEIIN BA2KET

CG: FROM LAUGHING 2O HARD

CG: IIT’LL BE TERRIIFYIING

CG: JU2T, GUT2 AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE

CG: THE NEIIGHBOR2 ARE 2CARRED FOR LIIFE!

CG: THEY’LL NEVER BE ABLE TWO LOOK AT A PACKET OF MU2TARD AGAIIN

TA: nope

TA: back to whatever i was doing.

CG: YOU’RE GOIING TWO FEEL SO GUIILTY

CG: NIICE JOB! YOU IINADVERTANTLY KIILLED ME

CG: BY JU2T BEIING TWO HIILARIIOUS

TA: yeah honestly i dont think im gonna feel that bad.

TA: im waiting for this whole basket blowing to happen

TA: so i dont have to listen to your stupid lisp anymore.

TA: you know it gets worse the louder you get.

CG: OK, YEAH, II’M DEAD AND YOU’RE OVERJOYED

CG: GLAD WE E2TABLII2HED THAT

CG: 2O NOW CAN II A2K YOU

CG: ONE DII2GU2TIING, REPUL2IIVE MUTANT TO ANOTHER

CG: WHAT AM II 2UPPO2ED TWO DO

TA: did you have more visions.

CG: NOOOOOO

CG: II’M JU2T IIN THE HABIIT OF A2KIING YOU FOR ADVIICE ON EVERY A2PECT OF MY LIIFE

CG: 2OLLUX! 2OLLUX! HELP ME!!

CG: WHAT COLOR 2HIIRT 2HOULD II WEAR TODAY

CG: THE BLACK OR THE DARK GREY

TA: id go with black.

TA: itll do a better job of concealing your hideous body.

CG: OH HA HA

CG: THII2 COMIING FROM THE GUY WHO, II’M PRETTY 2URE,

CG: WA2 THE IIN2TRUMENT OF BOTH CG’2 AND AG’2 BLIINDIING

CG: DIID YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TWO 2HOW UP OR DIID THEY JU2T 2END EACH OTHER PIICTURE2 OF YOUR GROTE2QUE VII2AGE

CG: AND IIN2TANTLY NIINE EYE2 BETWEEN THEM JU2T 2HRIIVELED UP AND RAN DOWN THEIIR CHEEKS LIIKE TEARS

CG: LIIKE THE TEARS THAT II CRY UPON EVEN IIMAGIINIING YOUR UGLY BULGE

TA: seriously.

TA: you want to talk about ugly.

TA: have you looked in a mirror lately.

CG: OH YEAH

CG: II NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT ONE

CG: OH NO, HOW WIILL II EVER RECOVER

TA: i have better things to do than listen to your prehistoric screeching.

TA: do you actually have a point.

CG: YE2 II HAD MORE VII2IION2!!

CG: IIT FIIGURE2, DOE2N’T IIT!!!!!

CG: II DON’T GET ANY COOL P2YCHIIC POWERS LIIKE EVERYBODY EL2E WIITH YELLOW BLOOD

CG: NOOO, NOT KARKAT

CG: HE HA2 TWO GET U2ELE22, OBNOXIIOUS VII2IION2 IIN2TEAD!!!!!

CG: AT LEA2T YOUR MUTATIION2 ARE U2EFUL

CG: YOU CAN, II DON’T KNOW, GET YOUR2ELF A BEVERAGE WIITHOUT GETTIING UP FROM YOUR COMPUTER WHERE YOU’RE UTTERLY FAIILIING TO CODE

CG: BECAU2E YOU’RE ONE OF THE, LIIKE, THREE CANDY BLOOD MUTANT2 IIN HIISTORY TO ACTUALLY HAVE P2YCHIIC POWERS

CG: AND II CAN’T BELIIEVE YOU ADMIITTED TO HAVIING CANDY BLOOD IIN THE FIIR2T PLACE

CG: IIF IIT WERE ME II’D KEEP THAT IINFO LOCKED DOWN TIIGHTER THAN YOUR PUNGENT 2EED FLAP

TA: ok first of all

TA: id rather have no psychic powers

TA: considering what happened before cg and ag were blinded

TA: if you can remember back that far

TA: and take two seconds to think about anyone but yourself

TA: (look! i said two so maybe youll take it seriously because it fits into your idiotic self branding! youre almost as bad as gc!)

TA: really dude

TA: you dont think i would trade if i could

TA: this may astonish you but i dont actually need to be any weirder and create more reasons for me to be culled

TA: and maybe if you had these powers instead of me

TA: you wouldnt have fallen for ag’s trick

TA: and she wouldnt have

CG: WOULDN’T HAVE WHAT

CG: YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED THERE

CG: ALL II KNOW II2 THAT AG GOT YOU TWO DO 2OMETHIING YOU REALLY REGRET

CG: AND NOW YOU HATE YOUR2ELF MORE THAN EVER

TA: never mind exactly what happened.

TA: you dont need to know.

CG: OK, WELL THAT 2HUT2 DOWN ANY REA2ON TWO 2HIIFT THII2 CONVER2ATIION AWAY FROM MY PROBLEM2

CG: 2O A2 LONG A2 YOU’RE REFU2IING TWO TALK ABOUT THAT WHIILE 2IIMULTANEOUSLY REMAIINIING 2ELF-IINDULGENTLY MOPEY ABOUT IIT

CG: WE MAY A2 WELL TALK ABOUT MY 2TUPIID VII2IION2

CG: 2IINCE II CAN’T GIIVE YOU ANY ADVIICE IIF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT’2 WRONG

CG: 2ERIIOU2LY, IIT’2 ALMO2T LIIKE YOU DON’T WANT MY 2CIINTIILLATIING WII2DOM

TA: youre right i could use some advice from the great captor.

TA: i have this friend who wont shut up.

TA: hes really loud and annoying.

TA: how do i deal with the urge to punch him in the face when hes probably on the other side of the planet.

CG: HAHA

CG: II 2UGGE2T THAT YOU PUNCH YOUR OWN UGLY MUG

CG: IIT MAKES A GOOD 2TAND IIN FOR ALL THE MO2T HIIDEOUS THIINGS IIN EXIISTENCE

CG: BEIING ONE OF THE WOR2T

TA: was that

TA: was that your vision.

TA: you saw my face and it was so disgusting that it finally drove you completely insane.

CG: OH YE2 THAT EXPLAIIN2 EVERYTHIING

CG: NO, II 2AW

CG: UH

CG: II DON’T WANT TWO TALK ABOUT IIT ANYMORE

TA: seriously.

TA: you spent this long bugging me and now you dont actually want to come clean.

CG: YEAH

CG: PRETTY MUCH

TA: ???

CG: WELL

CG: II JU2T FIIGURED OUT WHAT II 2AW

CG: AND IIT’2 NOT 2OMETHIING YOU CAN HELP ME WIITH

TA: what was it.

TA: against my better judgment youve managed to pique my curiosity.

TA: now im not going to be able to rest till i know.

CG: II DON’T WANT TWO TALK ABOUT IIT

TA: come on.

TA: you owe me.

TA: after ive spent this long listening to you prattle on.

CG: FIINE

CG: II 2AW MY2ELF DIIE

CG: POPPED LIIKE A PACKET OF MU2TARD, JU2T LIIKE II 2AIID EARLIIER

CG: II’M 2URE THAT DELIIGHT2 YOU

CG: 2O NOW THAT II’VE PROVIIDED VANTAS WIITH HII2 GIIGGLES FOR THE DAY II’M LOGGIING OFF

CG: BYE

TA: thats not good.

TA: i really dont want anyone else to die.

TA: karkat?

TA: im going to ask aa about this.

TA: youd better be over your hissy fit by the time i hear back from her.

TA: or you can just stew on your own.


	3. Chapter 3

CT: :33 < You shouldn’t listen to her

CT: :33 < It’s undignified for a high blood such as yourself to take orders from a middling t33l blood

AT: oKAY, THAT IS,, PROBABLY VERY TRUE

AT: bUT,,, THERE’S THE SMALL PROBLEM THAT,,

AT: sHE’S TERRIFYING,

AT: aND,,,,,,,,

AT: i’M KIND OF AFRAID TO MAKE HER MAD

AT: i MEAN, MADDER THAN SHE ALREADY IS,, JUST,,,, BY VIRTUE OF BEING vRISKA

CT: :33 < That’s pafurtic

AT: wHAT?

CT: :33 < Pathetic

AT: oK, yEAH, i’M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH THAT

CT: :33 < If you are looking for a kismesis you could do a lot better than a t33l blood

AT: i,

AT: rEALLY DON’T WANT,, TO BE HER KISMESIS

AT: tHAT, SOUNDS REALLY,,,,

AT: pAINFUL

AT: aND, JUST GENERALLY,, UNPLEASANT

CT: :33 < Then how do you intend to d33l with her

AT: wELL,

AT: mOSTLY I JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS,,,

AT: aND DON’T ARGUE WITH HER,

AT: aND TRY TO STAY OUT OF HER WAY,,

AT: aND I HOPE THAT WAY SHE WON’T HURT ME AGAIN :o)

CT: :33 < Does that work

AT: wELL,,

AT: nOT VERY WELL,,,

AT: bUT IT’S BETTER THAN,

AT: fIGHTING HER

CT: :33 < You’re a purple blood

CT: :33 < The pinnaclaw of the hemospectrum

CT: :33 < (Not counting the s33 dwellers but they’re insidious)

CT: :33 < You should not be living in f33r of a half-blind t33l blood with a dead lusus

AT: i WOULDN’T EXACTLY SAY,

AT: i’M LIVING IN FEAR OF HER,,

AT: mORE LIKE CAREFUL AVOIDANCE :o)

AT: aLSO,,

AT: i’M NOT SURE HOW QUALIFIED YOU ARE TO, OFFER ADVICE HERE

AT: cONSIDERING THAT YOU DO WHATEVER SHE SAYS,,,,,,,

AT: aND DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ANY,, uM, PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE

AT: iN STANDING UP TO HER

AT: i MEAN,,

AT: yOU DID MAKE THAT NEW ARM FOR HER,,,,,

AT: aFTER,,

AT: eVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED,,,,

AT: aLL THOSE THINGS THAT VERY MUCH HAPPENED

AT: wOW, DID THEY HAPPEN

CT: :33 < You have a point

CT: :33 < But I am bound to obey my sanguinary superiors

CT: :33 < As a lowly gr33n blood, I would not dare disobey a t33l blood

CT: :33 < But you are much higher on the hemospectrum

CT: :33 < You should show her what’s what

CT: :33 < Seize the initiative

CT: :33 < Plot her ruin

CT: :33 < Get revenge

AT: oKAY, uM, tHOSE ARE INTERESTING SUGGESTIONS

AT: bUT,,,,,

AT: uM, i KIND OF LIKE MY METHOD OF AVOIDING HER

AT: i’M NOT SURE i’M REALLY UP TO THE WHOLE,,,,

AT: pLOTTING RUIN THING

CT: :33 < Don’t be a wriggler

CT: :33 < High bloods are born to scheme and battle

CT: :33 < It is your destiny

CT: :33 < Your purrpose

AT: i LIKE YOUR CAT PUNS :o3

AT: bUT,,,

AT: aBOUT vRISKA

AT: aND THE WHOLE HEMOSPECTRUM THING,,,

AT: i’M JUST NOT SURE,,

AT: i’M REALLY CUT OUT FOR A DESTINY, OF SCHEMING AND BATTLING

AT: i’D KIND OF RATHER STAY HOME AND PLAY GAMES

AT: aLSO BECAUSE IT’S REALLY,, DIFFICULT FOR ME TO LEAVE MY HIVE NOW

AT: i MEAN,

AT: vERY FEW AREAS OF aLTERNIA ARE WHEELCHAIR ACCESSIBLE

CT: :33 < Purrst I’m not sure that the image of a cat with a clown nose works

CT: :33 < As an emoticon

CT: :33 < It’s rather purrly aligned

CT: :33 < And logically questionable

CT: :33 < Why and how would a cat wear a clown nose?

AT: oKAY,, yEAH,,,,

AT: tHAT WAS KIND OF PATHETIC,

CT: :33 < But I suppawse I can appurrciate the attempt to mirror my interests

AT: :o)

CT: :33 < And therein lies the problem

CT: :33 < You should not be interested in impurrving relationships with low bloods

CT: :33 < You should s33k to dominate and subjugate them instead

AT: yEAH,, wELL,,, uM

AT: tHAT JUST REALLY DOESN’T SOUND APPEALING?

AT: oR,,,,,, APP33LING, :o)

AT: i REALLY DON’T WANT TO DOMINATE ANYONE,,

AT: i SORT OF,, FIND IT HARD ENOUGH,,,

AT: jUST TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR MYSELF

AT: sO, i,, rEALLY DON’T WANT TO TELL ANYONE ELSE WHAT TO DO

AT: aND UM,,

AT: iF i’M NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE ORDERS FROM vRISKA, bECAUSE SHE’S A TEAL BLOOD,,,,,

AT: iSN’T IT EVEN WORSE FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO

AT: sINCE, aND i DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THIS, YOU’RE ACTUALLY LOWER ON THE HEMOSPECTRUM

CT: :33 < You’re right

CT: :33 < I should be ashamed of purrsuming to know better than my superiors

CT: :33 < You should punish me

AT: nO, uH, tHANKS

AT: i’M GOOD

AT: i GUESS IF YOU WANT A PUNISHMENT,,,

AT: yOUR PUNISHMENT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE NICE,

AT: aND HAVE A GOOD TIME,,,

AT: dOING WHATEVER YOU ENJOY :o)

AT: aS LONG AS IT’S NOT HURTING OTHERS,,,,,,,

AT: bECAUSE, uM,,,

AT: iF i WERE TALKING TO vRISKA,

AT: i WOULD HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT,,

AT: iF i, TOLD HER TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

AT: bUT YOU’RE NOT vRISKA SO IT’S OKAY :o)

CT: :33 < Is

CT: :33 < Is that an order

AT: uM, iF YOU WANT IT TO BE

CT: :33 < Would it be pawsible

CT: :33 < Fur you to give me a

CT: :33 < A couple more orders

AT: uH, sURE,,

AT: wHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :o)

AT: uM,,,,,

AT: wHY DON’T YOU,,,,,,,,,,

AT: dRINK A DELICIOUS FAYGO :o)

CT: :33 < I

CT: :33 < I’m sorry

CT: :33 < Abjectly sorry

CT: :33 < I have failed you

CT: :33 < I don’t have a Faygo

CT: :33 < And have little pawsibility of acquiring one, living as I do in the center of a wild and overgrown jungle

CT: :33 < But

CT: :33 < I will endeavor to please

CT: :33 < It just

CT: :33 < Might take me some time to launch an expedition to the nearest purrveyor of vile drinks

AT: oH,,

AT: wELL THAT’S OKAY,

AT: jUST RELAX, THEN :o)

AT: ,,,

AT: eQUIUS?

AT: aRE YOU STILL THERE,,

AT: uM,

AT: pLEASE DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE BATTLING YOUR WAY, THROUGH THE JUNGLE, RIGHT NOW

AT: aND SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH HORRIFIC MONSTERS,,,,,,,,,,,

AT: eQUIUS?

CT: :33 < I had to retire br33fly to retr33ve a towel

CT: :33 < But I am dry now

CT: :33 < And ready to set out

AT: yOU,, rEALLY DON’T HAVE, TO DO THAT

AT: yOU CAN JUST, cHILL

CT: :33 < I may not be able to contact you for some time

CT: :33 < Rest assured that I will furfill your orders

CT: :33 < Or die trying

AT: uM,,

AT: wOW,,,,,,

AT: tHAT IS, iNCREDIBLY,, NOT COMFORTING

AT: aND YOU’RE GONE

AT: oKAY


End file.
